Empower Hour Quarterly: April-June 2021 Newsletter

Control what you can. Remember, you cannot control other people but you can control how you are taking care of yourself. Prioritize self care in the form of trying to get a good night’s sleep, getting some kind of physical activity, eating well and taking time to relax. In periods of high stress this may look different. Sometimes it takes all of our energy just to get out of bed for a glass of water that day, sometimes we cannot get out of bed at all. Focus on what you CAN do, not what you cannot. Be kind to yourself.

Connect. Isolation may feel like the best choice at times, however this can lead to a decline in mental health. It’s important to make an effort to spend time with friends and loved ones. (Again, this does not mean you need to share your story with them). If you do want to connect through your experience, sometimes support groups can provide connections with those who can better relate to what you’re going through. (EPEC has several support group options available; see pages 11 and 12 for additional information on our virtual support group and HelpRoom.)

Share your experience. For some survivors of sexual violence sharing their experience may be helpful to themselves and for others. However, it’s important to understand that not everyone is going to be supportive. Sometimes, sharing your story with an unsupportive person can cause more damage than good. It is important to choose your supports with care. You can always call a sexual assault hotline or seeing a mental health professional if you do not want to share with friends or family. (EPEC’s helpline is live 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: 304. 263. 8292.)

• • Don’t feel pressured to share. Many people have shared their stories in the wake of the #metoo movement. That does not mean that disclosing publicly or to anyone at all is the right choice for you. You don’t owe anyone your story. You do not have to feel guilty if you decide to keep your experience to yourself.

Seek help. If you are feeling depressed, using drugs or alcohol to cope, having trouble going to work or school, or find your distress is interfering with life in other ways, reach out to a mental health professional for help. EPEC provides free and confidential mental health services, please reach out to an advocate for more information. If you are ever feeling suicidal please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

Identify your triggers. Triggers are reminders of your past trauma. This reminder can make you feel overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or panic and may also cause flashbacks. Knowing what your triggers are, or starting to identify them, can help you to understand what is happening to start using coping skills to calm down. Triggers are often anniversary dates and people and places associated with the assault.

Create a toolbox. Having a list of strategies that have helped you cope in the past can be very beneficial. Make a list of the things that restore you, and pull it out whenever you need some extra support. These strategies are different for everyone but some things to try are:

• • Meditation
  • Yoga
  • Music
  • Volunteering in your community
  • Keep a Journal
  • Reach out to loved ones
  • Smash something, like a piece of fruit
  • Breathing exercises
  • Getting out into nature
  • Find ways to laugh
  • Take a bath
  • Do something nice for yourself

Develop strategies for dealing with flashbacks. Even with helpful coping skills, it’s not always possible to prevent flashbacks. If you find the sexual assault is happening all over again and are starting to lose touch with the present, there are some things that can help:

• • Reassure yourself that this is not reality, this is a flashback. The traumatic event is over and you survived. Sometimes it helps to tell this to yourself out loud, write it down, or play a recording of yourself. (This same strategy can help when you’re feeling guilt… it’s important to remind yourself it was not your fault).
  • Here’s a simple script that can help: “I am feeling [panicked, frightened, overwhelmed, etc.] because I am remembering the rape/sexual assault, but as I look around I can see that the assault isn’t happening right now and I’m not actually in danger. I survived. I am ok. It was not my fault.”
  • Ground yourself. Grounding techniques can help you direct your attention away from the flashback and back to your current environment. Some simple grounding techniques are holding ice in your hand, or smelling something strong like an orange. For more grounding techniques, click here,